Monday, June 23, 2014

My Cat is an Arsehole - Case File 2

This week it's time for CASE FILE number 2, with author Shona Husk's delightful kitty... Sarsen!

CASE FILE 2

SARSEN


Breed: Blue Burmese
Age: 14
Crime/s: 
1. Malicious Peeing

When not sleeping he is often found sniffing shoes in the wardrobe, not because he likes feet but because he intends to pee on them. He also enjoys peeing on doll cloths…or any clothes left on the floor. We have a pre-bed patrol in the evenings to eliminate all attractive options. However he had now lowered his standard to peeing on the kids’ school bags (he has a litter tray and a cat flap and yes he was neutered many years ago, so it’s not as though he needs to seek revenge for all the years of food, shelter and warmth he’s been given). He’s also peed on my bed more than once…I prefer to think of him as senile than evil.

2. Carpet Vomitor
He is also a carpet vomitor. Why throw up on the tiles only one inch away when there is perfectly good carpet? (seriously I cleaned up some today that was literally just on the carpet instead of the tiles…that takes years of practise.) I’m sure that for cats vomiting is all about location, location, location. Bonus points for difficulty including under the bed and behind the sofa. I’m going to give a special mention to Satin, his half-sister (also blue Burmese) because she tried to eat a frog, got half way through and then chucked it up in a revolting frothy green mess however it was outside not inside. So while the ick factor was high the clean-up factor was low.

3. Sofa scratcher
 This is actually a team crime between Satin and Sarsen and it has been a long work in progress. A picture is worth one thousand words. They did this after hubby had made them a deluxe scratching post with rope and carpet as well as three platforms. Kids used it more than the cats.

EVIDENCE


Scratched up Sofa

Disclaimer: Despite all of this he is friendly, affection and loves to snuggle up under the doona in winter. He was also very patient when the kids were toddlers and learning how to pick up and handle cats (he did bite each child once, but in his defence he’d meowed, I’d said put him down and they’d decided to squeeze him and run off with him—no blood was spilled and they are all friends now…except when he pees on their school bags). 

Sarsen loving my socks while enjoying a snooze on the bed :)

If you want to find out more about Shona Husk and her writing, check out her website: www.ShonaHusk.Com

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